Practicing Self-Compassion Through Cooking

How is everyone doing? How are all of you feeling? For me, today, I am in a good place. I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, and put on my favorite vintage dress that hangs in my closet all year long. In all of my days, I never thought I would ever have an industrial-sized toilet paper roll in my bathroom. It’s too big to place into my roll holder. And for now, it’s too large to set on top of my toilet. As I sat on the porcelain throne this morning, holding this huge-ass roll of shit tickets, I laughed. I laughed hysterically. Yesterday, I cried. The day before that, I stared at my phone, reading so many opinions and vent-fests about COVID and how people are doing it wrong. Today, I laugh. The main thing keeping my spirits up is practicing self-compassion through cooking.

Practicing Self-Compassion Through Cooking

I cannot say it enough, “Cooking is an art form.” But guess what? So is practicing self-compassion. They both teach us about mindfulness, stretching our imagination, and getting us in the habit of experiencing something new and spectacular. Just as I use my senses to taste, combine flavors, and feel different textures in my hands, I use those same senses to explore emotions in my body. If I had never pushed myself so much to learn how to cook over the years, I wouldn’t have the skills I have today. Those skills have saved me over the last few weeks.

A few weeks ago, I was excited to know more of you were in the kitchen cooking up a storm! It made me so happy! By the third week in, I began feeling a bit melancholy. The weird part of it was that I had no idea why I was feeling this way. Still, I continued to cook daily. I noticed my mood lifting as I used my imagination more when I planned my weekly meals. Thinking outside of the systematic and traditional ways of how we cook helped me keep things exciting. When I didn’t have the exact ingredients, I enjoyed figuring out substitutions. Knowing I had defeated what some might see as a limitation or deterrent to cooking, I could see what I was capable of solving. That was worth a pat on my own back! Right before my eyes, I created new art!

Art is never about perfection. And I would never want it to be. The beauty of keeping it real (cooking skills and self) is learning, experiencing, and feeling accomplished as you go.

Ways to keep things interesting in the kitchen

• Turn your kitchen into the only room you want to be in! My kitchen is by no means a roomy or modern space. However, my mother’s vintage copper bundt cake tins and favorite cookbooks decorate the walls and corners. I have a coffee/tea station and a sense of coziness all around me. Every quarter, I switch out the cookbooks with newer ones and reorganize my pantry, fridge, and drawers.
• Cook with your family! Even though I prefer working alone, I enjoy having the kids in the kitchen with me to show them how to make their favorite dishes. It gives me a break, and it also tears them away from their online gaming for a bit.
• Meal plan together. Making a meal plan gets everyone excited about what’s coming up the pipes. If you need some ideas on how to go about it all, check out my Meal Planning and Bullet Journal Meal Planning 101 blog posts.
• Turn on your favorite tunes and fix yourself a “cooking sip,” alcoholic or non-alcoholic. You have my permission to enjoy yourself 🙂
• Make dinner a mandatory meal at the dinner table. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, sit at the table. If everyone is home for dinner, eat it together. Think about all of those times you wished you weren’t so busy. Now that you have time, frickin’ enjoy it all!

Most importantly, the message I have for you this week is, do you. If you are feeling down or depressed, missing your friends and normalcy, or not feeling anything at all, just do you. Only you can be okay with what you are handling right now or how you are responding to our worldwide COVID crisis. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are doing it wrong. For more on practicing self-compassion, check out Dr. Kristin Neff. Her motto is, “Give yourself the same kindness and care you would give to a good friend.”

But most importantly

Take care of yourselves and if ever in doubt, get in the kitchen and create. Even if it’s a beautiful orange and arugula salad, just create. I promise it will make you smile.