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There are a lot of things in life that are hard. For me, making fettuccine Alfredo from scratch used to be one of them. Learning to have self-compassion for all of the mistakes I’ve made in life, thus far, was another. And let me tell you, my getting that sauce right after several tries was an experience like no other. Yes, I’m just talking about cooking one recipe, but it goes so much deeper than that. Is this the best recipe for fettuccine Alfredo? Maybe, maybe not. However, what makes it stellar to me is that it was perfected with the help of a little self-compassion. It took a heaping pile of determination, but I finally got it. Read on to see how to make the best fettuccine Alfredo and be kind to yourself along the way.
Why self-compassion is essential when it comes to cooking
If you sense that there’s an underlying code in my words, and it’s really not about the damn Alfredo sauce, you are right, shug. Although the sauce is real, it’s also an important catalyst in this scenario.
Throughout my life, I’ve tried to live by the slogan, “I’ll try everything twice.” And I say that wearing my devil horns. It’s been a wild ride so far. But along the way, I learned to hone in on the one ingredient that I had omitted for so long – self-compassion.
The first time I made Alfredo sauce
I was 23 and sporting a brand-new wedding ring on my tiny finger. Stepping into the kitchen to conquer a recipe I had never made, I could hear my mother’s voice whispering, “Your wifely duty is to cook for your husband every single day.” Of course, she was from the Hispanic old-school of subservience.
FEAR NO. 1: Don’t fuck this up!
I burned the roux. In turn, I saw myself as a wife who couldn’t deliver or please my husband. I failed.
ESSENTIAL PARTS
That old-school wifely duty thought was bogus. He never needed that from me. I didn’t exist to serve him. I existed to be me. But back to the actual sauce.
- Although I knew the task at hand was going to be challenging, I should’ve been more gentle with myself when learning.
- The mistakes I made helped me learn from them.
- Just because a recipe that says it takes 20 minutes to prepare takes me an hour and a half, it doesn’t mean I failed.
After several more attempts, I not only perfected that damn roux, I discovered I shouldn’t go into new things with the bar set so high for myself. I was meant to produce a lumpy sauce. I was supposed to use the wrong cheese that turned into curdled chunks. Does this sound like life itself? And how do we get through lumpy sauce? We walk through it with self-compassion, yo. It’s that simple.
Strategies for practicing self-compassion when you’re in the kitchen
- Cook for yourself when no one else is around.
- Make the time, and submerge yourself within that moment. Connect with the ingredients you are preparing. Feel their offerings pouring into you as you devote and dedicate attention to them. The level of gratitude will be off the charts once you’re seated and ready to enjoy your meal. Imagine a sweet exchange of winks between you and your food.
- Permit yourself to take breaks when needed, even if it’s just five minutes.
- Give yourself credit for all the things that you’ve accomplished so far – don’t let anyone else define who or what makes “good enough.”
These four bullet points can also serve as gospel in everything you set your mind to in your journey through life. Use it as plug-and-play with whatever scenario lands at your feet. For more on infusing self-compassion into your cooking routine, check out this blog post I wrote in the thick of Covid.
The fettuccine Alfredo that stole my heart
I love pasta, with or without sauce, but this recipe has a powerful punch of garlic-y deliciousness. In the past, I’ve made the sauce from a base recipe of cashew cream for added protein. However, this particular version consists of plant-based butter, flour for the roux, and oat milk to thicken. And, don’t forget the whisk!
I hope I’ve inspired you to take some time for yourself by way of a good ol’ cooking session. The practice of cooking for oneself is a wonderful practice in self-compassion and nourishment that can make you feel good inside and out. Enjoy your meal with no one else around, and be proud of the food you transformed just for yourself. If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness practices in the kitchen, please join the waitlist for my new course, Cook Mindfully, Eat Artfully here. I’ll teach you how to make silky-smooth gravy, ditch subservience, and do everything right in your second marriage! Kidding . . . but seriously, get on the list!
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The Best Recipe for Fettuccine Alfredo with a Side of Self-Compassion
- Total Time: 30 minutes
- Yield: 4 1x
Ingredients
1/2 lb spaghetti noodles
1/4 cup plant-based butter (I use Melt brand)
3 tbsp all-purpose flour
1–2 cups oat milk for thickening
1/4–1/2 cup nutritional yeast
1 tsp garlic powder
kosher salt and black pepper to taste
Pumpkin Seed Parmesan
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup hemp seeds (hearts)
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1 Tbsp nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
Instructions
Fill a large pot with water. Place it over medium-high heat, sprinkle in a handful of kosher salt, and cover the pot with a lid.
While the water boils, heat a small saucepan over medium heat. Add the butter and let melt. Whisk in the flour until thin loose paste forms. Lower the heat and slowly pour in the oat milk while whisking. To season the sauce, add the nutritional yeast, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Add in more oat milk if the sauce is too thick. Taste for seasoning, then turn the heat down to low and keep warm.
Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook for 8 minutes or until the pasta is al dente. Drain the pasta, then add it back into the pot.
Using a rubber spatula, add the alfredo sauce to the pasta along with chopped parsley. Toss to coat. Plate onto a dish and sprinkle with vegan parmesan.
To make the pumpkin seed parm
Combine all of the ingredients into a spice grinder or food processor and pulse until the mixture comes to a coarse grind.
Keep in an airtight container stored in the fridge for up to 1 week.
Notes
Other parm variations: instead of using pumpkin seeds, try pecans, walnuts, almonds, pine nuts, pistachios, cashews, or sunflower seeds
- Prep Time: 10
- Cook Time: 20
- Category: Mains
- Method: Stovetop
- Cuisine: Italian
