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We crave the things we fall in love with at first glance, taste, or experience. It blows our minds so much; we do whatever we can to fit it into our lives at all costs. I’m speaking of that first bite of the most wonderful chocolate cayenne cheesecake. I’m referring to heavy doses of laughter that pull us from a dark place. I’m talking about that beautiful meal we share with our loved ones after an absence. These experiences should be at our communal table, the place to enjoy a togetherness dinner with our loved ones. But let’s be realistic for one moment. I know not everyone has the privilege of experiencing togetherness at home. I used to be one of them.
A Longing For Community
As the youngest of six, I didn’t experience fun family holidays. We didn’t play board games, decorate the Christmas tree with ornaments and paper chains, or wrap presents together. And we didn’t have a togetherness dinner. We fought.
Every Thanksgiving, my assigned task was to set the table for our holiday feast. And just about every year, an argument would prevent us from ever making it to the table. In other instances, my siblings and I would have to kneel facing the wall because we spoke out of turn during our meal. The letdown I felt each time became more and more faint as the years passed. Serving myself a plate full of food and retreating to my room to eat alone became the norm. It didn’t take a genius to realize something was amiss. The repeated absence of connectedness made me long for the day I would create my own togetherness dinner. And I’m here to tell you – it’s so fucking important.
A Togetherness Dinner
Now that I have a family of my own, I can share the importance of a togetherness dinner with them. And once things become safer for us to gather friends around our tables, we can create awesome memories together. But to keep things fresh in our minds on why and how it can enrich our lives, let me break it down for you.
~Food connects us all. It brings us together to share stories of the present and memories of our past. It helps to identify who we are and what we like. And food can take us on a journey of self-exploration. Try new foods and inspire others to think outside the box when creating their weekly menu. This can be shared around your table!
~Make the dinner table your “happiness hub.” Let it be the place where you have fun conversations, make important decisions, and bond with your family and friends.
How To Create A Togetherness Table
~View your table as a sacred place to gather. Please keep it clean of stacks of mail, books, or folding laundry. Buy a bouquet of fresh flowers each week and place it in the center to admire.
~You have time to eat dinner together. The most common excuse for not eating together is that there’s not enough time. I’m here to tell you: there’s time. All of us have the same 24 hours in the day. Why not make it a priority, no matter how busy your day becomes? Arrange your schedule with more things that will bring you joy and less stress. I would almost bet eating together is one of them.
~To keep things as simple as possible, design your weekly meal time so that it’s easy to prepare, serve, and clean up. Less time in the kitchen means more time at the table with your people. I know, I know, this goes against everything I say about “spending time in the kitchen.” But as long as you’re creating a togetherness dinner on the reg, you won’t hear one complaint from me.
~Lastly, create a fun “food bar” night where you serve many options to build nachos, burritos, tacos, or salads. To make it more interesting, build your plate and pass it to the person on your left. There may be laughs. There may be frowns. Haha. Either way, you’re creating memories!
Keep It Real
We all gotta eat, my friends. Enjoying a meal together is the framework of our society. When we eat, it makes us feel good, and if we are around the people we love, we have one badass recipe for happiness. What are you waiting for? Why not plan a small gathering to share with your COVID bubble. And speaking of “togetherness,” what have you got planned to share at your holiday feast?
For more tips on eating together, please check out Dining With Desire.
*Featured illustration by Grace Helmer
